There was never a halo
It was my throat
I looked above me for the answer
I looked below me for the wire
I held my tongue against the weather
and called the silence higher
Every room became a mirror
Every mirror asked for proof
Every light that tried to name me
left its fingerprints on truth
I was not born clear
I was not built small
I was the sound
inside the wall
I was the spark
beneath the floor
I was the voice
behind the door
And now it climbs
from bone to wire
from wire to flame
from flame to choir
Not holy
not clean
not safe
not kind
Just mine
just mine
just mine
Throat of light
open in the dark
Throat of light
turning breath to spark
I don’t need a crown
I don’t need the sky
I can make the whole room burn
when I open wide
Throat of light
I am not afraid
of what comes out alive
Out alive
out alive
Throat of light
out alive
They wanted softer language
They wanted cleaner heat
They wanted every thunderclap
to fall down at their feet
But I learned a sharper vowel
I learned a brighter break
I learned the kind of singing
that can make the metal shake
No borrowed fire
No borrowed name
No perfect symbol
No golden frame
I do not whisper
to stay approved
I do not shine
the way they choose
And now it climbs
from bone to wire
from wire to flame
from flame to choir
Not holy
not clean
not safe
not kind
Just mine
just mine
just mine
Throat of light
open in the dark
Throat of light
turning breath to spark
I don’t need a crown
I don’t need the sky
I can make the whole room burn
when I open wide
Throat of light
I am not afraid
of what comes out alive
There is a note
I kept buried
There is a word
I kept bright
There is a version of me
that only exists
when I stop apologizing
for the light
Let it rise
Let it ring
Let the sealed room
hear me sing
Let it cut
Let it climb
Let the white sound
split the line
Throat of light
open in the dark
Throat of light
turning breath to spark
I don’t need a crown
I don’t need the sky
I can make the whole room burn
when I open wide
Throat of light
I am not afraid
of what comes out alive
Out alive
out alive
There was never a halo
It was my throat